The two made for a dynamic duo as they reacted to the day’s biggest headlines—most notably, embattled New York Rep. George Santos’s (R-NY) surprise announcement that he won’t be seeking reelection. The decision comes after the House Ethics Committee released a damning report detailing all the things Santos allegedly spent donor money on, including: Botox, OnlyFans subscriptions, more than $4,100 worth of something at Hermès, and lavish trips to Atlantic City.
Klepper and Jones feigned shock at the news, with Klepper lamenting that the “star volleyball player” turned politician could just turn his back on the halls of justice so suddenly. “I hate to say it, but this man is really making me start to distrust politicians,” a defeated Klepper said.
“When he goes to jail and they ask him: ‘What are you in for?’ he’s gonna be like: ‘EVERYTHING!’”
But Jones was confused about one major piece of news in the Santos Saga: his reportedly “lavish” trips to Atlantic City. “Have you been to Atlantic City?,” she wanted to know. “A ‘lavish’ trip there just means you don’t go home with bed bugs.”
Klepper, meanwhile, found the Botox more suspicious: “He’s the youngest member of congress by 1,000 years,” according to Klepper. “You don’t get Botox—just stand next to Mitch McConnell,” Klepper suggested.
“Exactly,” concurred Jones. “He doesn’t need Botox. But the rest of them old-ass congressmen do.”
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